This entry was inspired through my recent struggles on hearing God speak to me and also on the discussion of my thoughts and feelings towards Lenten traditions.
Soon to come...there is SO much in my head and heart to work out...as I collect it all together, I will be posting it.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
A Man of God...
My Lord, in all my failure, in all my life, I still give you praise and say to you even through all that failure what kind of man would I be were I not to try to make myself better for you.
I pray to you my Lord that I can be better man to you, my family, my friends, the people I know, the people I do not know. I ask you Lord to keep me by your side in my moments of strength and my moments of weakness. Teach me to be like you and to praise your name always...
To be saved
Rom 10:9-10 - If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.
Psalm 32:2 - Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.
To be God-fearing
Acts 10:1-2 - At Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion in what was known as the Italian Regiment. He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.
To be a student of your word
2 Timothy 2:15 - Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
To be humble
John 3:30 - He must become greater; I must become less.
To obey Your word
Psalm 37:31 - The law of his God is in his heart; his feet do not slip.
I pray to you my Lord that I can be better man to you, my family, my friends, the people I know, the people I do not know. I ask you Lord to keep me by your side in my moments of strength and my moments of weakness. Teach me to be like you and to praise your name always...
To be saved
Rom 10:9-10 - If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.
Psalm 32:2 - Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.
To be God-fearing
Acts 10:1-2 - At Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion in what was known as the Italian Regiment. He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.
To be a student of your word
2 Timothy 2:15 - Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
To be humble
John 3:30 - He must become greater; I must become less.
To obey Your word
Psalm 37:31 - The law of his God is in his heart; his feet do not slip.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
God are you SO unbelievable...
Starting at Matthew 9:23 it is...why? I'm not sure yet, but I know you have your reasons...
Spiritual Death...
My Lord, I ask you, let me die again, let me die over again spiritually so that I may raise up in a stronger bond with you...
As I try to single-mindedly focus on you, let all of my weaknesses die and may I be resurrected in your name Lord.
As I try to single-mindedly focus on you, let all of my weaknesses die and may I be resurrected in your name Lord.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Matthew 5: 1-13 - The Beatitudes (those who are humble)
Another continuation of my interpretation and explanation of The Beatitudes. Tonight's is the third in the list...
"5 God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth."
Depending on what translation of the bible you are reading, some say the "meek" versus the "humble". Relatively an interchangeable word, so if you see it spelled out differently in a different translation, don't freak, it's all synonymous.
So what does it mean to be meek / humble? And why are they getting the earth? And when? And why does God bless these people? What is it about those who show humility that grants them favor by God?
Truly excellent questions (Thanks...hehehe...guess that wasn't very humble of me...boo...:( I'm learning...being a Christian is knowing you're a constant work in progress)...
So, I'm not going to take the professorial approach to this by saying "So let's define what it means to be humble, well, Webster's Dictionary defi..." you get my point...instead I'll define it by my understanding of what it means through the examples in my life. I remember the majesty of the nights while camping in the Rockies...I remember looking up to the sky and seeing more stars that I knew existed and was in awe. I remember that caused me to realize how big this world is and despite how big I thought I was in my world, I was humbled. I remember the countless times I was positive I was right over an issue...any issue...whatever it is...only to find out I was blatantly wrong and was humbled by it. Lastly I remember how confident I was that I could stand up to sin and defeat it in myself. I was wrong again and I was humbled.
Humility is a submission and a strength to God. It is the realization that God is in everything. It is the realization that God is everything and I am nothing. A man who is humble gives over his will to God. Thus he doesn't say "because of my faith in God, I can do anything!", rather he says "because of my faith in God, I ask that He does as He wills through me and strengthens me to serve Him." In Psalm 76:9, it says "You stand up to judge those who do evil, O God, and to rescue the oppressed of the earth."
My Lord, I know my heart and I know where you and I stand on this issue...in the past I have feared to trust you, feared to assume that you, alone, know what is best. But how I can continue to live that way knowing that I, myself, don't know any better. You see everything, create everything, guide everything and to love you is to trust you...I pray my lord, that as we travel our path together that I find humility and a complete trust in Your will. I want you to guide me, there is a permanent peace in that...a real peace, not some fraudulent misrepresented peace that fades. And I know my weaknesses my lord and I know they exist because I don't perfectly love and trust you. I acknowledge this and I hope that I can pay you much more than lip service to this...because even as I type I fail...
My Lord help me to take up the cross and follow you...
"5 God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth."
Depending on what translation of the bible you are reading, some say the "meek" versus the "humble". Relatively an interchangeable word, so if you see it spelled out differently in a different translation, don't freak, it's all synonymous.
So what does it mean to be meek / humble? And why are they getting the earth? And when? And why does God bless these people? What is it about those who show humility that grants them favor by God?
Truly excellent questions (Thanks...hehehe...guess that wasn't very humble of me...boo...:( I'm learning...being a Christian is knowing you're a constant work in progress)...
So, I'm not going to take the professorial approach to this by saying "So let's define what it means to be humble, well, Webster's Dictionary defi..." you get my point...instead I'll define it by my understanding of what it means through the examples in my life. I remember the majesty of the nights while camping in the Rockies...I remember looking up to the sky and seeing more stars that I knew existed and was in awe. I remember that caused me to realize how big this world is and despite how big I thought I was in my world, I was humbled. I remember the countless times I was positive I was right over an issue...any issue...whatever it is...only to find out I was blatantly wrong and was humbled by it. Lastly I remember how confident I was that I could stand up to sin and defeat it in myself. I was wrong again and I was humbled.
Humility is a submission and a strength to God. It is the realization that God is in everything. It is the realization that God is everything and I am nothing. A man who is humble gives over his will to God. Thus he doesn't say "because of my faith in God, I can do anything!", rather he says "because of my faith in God, I ask that He does as He wills through me and strengthens me to serve Him." In Psalm 76:9, it says "You stand up to judge those who do evil, O God, and to rescue the oppressed of the earth."
My Lord, I know my heart and I know where you and I stand on this issue...in the past I have feared to trust you, feared to assume that you, alone, know what is best. But how I can continue to live that way knowing that I, myself, don't know any better. You see everything, create everything, guide everything and to love you is to trust you...I pray my lord, that as we travel our path together that I find humility and a complete trust in Your will. I want you to guide me, there is a permanent peace in that...a real peace, not some fraudulent misrepresented peace that fades. And I know my weaknesses my lord and I know they exist because I don't perfectly love and trust you. I acknowledge this and I hope that I can pay you much more than lip service to this...because even as I type I fail...
My Lord help me to take up the cross and follow you...
Monday, February 9, 2009
A new wall...
Today I've got a new wall up in my life...it's not made of fear, it's not made of my life's poor experiences...this wall...this SHIELD...this my God and he's the protector of my soul! He is my sword, my shield, my rock, my wall, my house, my tower, my heart, my love, my eyes beyond sight, and when I mess up, he is my redeemer.
He protects me from skipping accidents on escalators... :) He inspires my heart...he's got the match that lights the fire in my soul...
Awesome prayer session today man...thanks for helping me to understand you so much more and guiding me. I submit myself to you...whatever your plans, wherever you take me...sometimes my own will might get in the way and sometimes my apathy might get between you and I, but when it comes down to the bottom line...it's you Lord...only you.
You save me...when I drown, you extend your hand and it's my job to grab it so that you can pull me up...I trust you, even through pain.
He protects me from skipping accidents on escalators... :) He inspires my heart...he's got the match that lights the fire in my soul...
Awesome prayer session today man...thanks for helping me to understand you so much more and guiding me. I submit myself to you...whatever your plans, wherever you take me...sometimes my own will might get in the way and sometimes my apathy might get between you and I, but when it comes down to the bottom line...it's you Lord...only you.
You save me...when I drown, you extend your hand and it's my job to grab it so that you can pull me up...I trust you, even through pain.
A Home Among Your People
Lord, I have always found myself in solitude, more by choice than by need. This past month, I have found a home among your people. May we all grow with your grace and truth.
Your Voice and My Changes...
I have slept with your word at my chest every night for the past week as I work towards knowing you more. You have captivated my heart, you have lit a flame in an area of my soul that constantly has snuffed out other flames and every time the wind blows and the flame flickers, you're there making it brighter and bigger.
I have heard you in the past and hope to hear you more in the future and I pray that I am available to you in all that you want of me. I find myself faltering a lot in hearing you...wondering if what I am hearing is something you would say and when it happens I can distinctly tell what you're saying and I might not be obeying versus what you're not saying and whether it IS you. Please Lord, as we talk, I pray that only make yourself clear to me and that I am unobstructed from hearing you. I can feel you speaking to my heart in some many things. It's so unusual...I feel you in my chest and it's not all the time, but I know you're there.
----------------------------------------
Two of your beautiful people have let me know something that was burning inside my heart but I was too blind to recognize and I am so appreciative...I know that our relationship is something that grows daily and I have so much to learn of you...my heart burns...
Tomorrow I will take something you have asked me to do over the past week and put it into action my lord. Spring cleaning has come a little early this year.
I have heard you in the past and hope to hear you more in the future and I pray that I am available to you in all that you want of me. I find myself faltering a lot in hearing you...wondering if what I am hearing is something you would say and when it happens I can distinctly tell what you're saying and I might not be obeying versus what you're not saying and whether it IS you. Please Lord, as we talk, I pray that only make yourself clear to me and that I am unobstructed from hearing you. I can feel you speaking to my heart in some many things. It's so unusual...I feel you in my chest and it's not all the time, but I know you're there.
----------------------------------------
Two of your beautiful people have let me know something that was burning inside my heart but I was too blind to recognize and I am so appreciative...I know that our relationship is something that grows daily and I have so much to learn of you...my heart burns...
Tomorrow I will take something you have asked me to do over the past week and put it into action my lord. Spring cleaning has come a little early this year.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
A vessel...
Today my Lord, I praise you with all the possible sincerity I can muster. You have given me so much in life and I seldom thank you. In fact, I complain, I ask for more, I argue with you and sometimes doubt you. Instead, today...I ask you to take me Lord...steal me from this arrogance, this sense of entitlement I have...for all the materialistic things on this earth are worthless to me...take them from me, keep me in your love and do with me what you will...
I give you praise...you are my redeemer. You take my sins and wash them from my soul and I only pray that as I go throughout this life, you only provide to me what you deign necessary to me carrying out your will. I know I will never perfectly follow you, but I will travel the rocky path barefoot and endure the cuts if it means I get to chill out with you some day and sip pina coladas on a beach with no sand... :)
You know my heart, you know it more than I do...all the good and bad that I'm capable of...my failures and my fears; my successes and my humility. The gifts you have given me, my passion, my love, my sensitivity, my love of the arts and use them to your will...have me share you through what YOU have given me...let me honor you so that others can learn to honor you and know you.
Today I put my failures behind me and let them dissolve in your mercy. Thank you my lord.
I give you praise...you are my redeemer. You take my sins and wash them from my soul and I only pray that as I go throughout this life, you only provide to me what you deign necessary to me carrying out your will. I know I will never perfectly follow you, but I will travel the rocky path barefoot and endure the cuts if it means I get to chill out with you some day and sip pina coladas on a beach with no sand... :)
You know my heart, you know it more than I do...all the good and bad that I'm capable of...my failures and my fears; my successes and my humility. The gifts you have given me, my passion, my love, my sensitivity, my love of the arts and use them to your will...have me share you through what YOU have given me...let me honor you so that others can learn to honor you and know you.
Today I put my failures behind me and let them dissolve in your mercy. Thank you my lord.
God Bless You John Newton...
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Cool quote
"Evolution, as a mechanism, can be and must be true. But that says nothing about the nature of its author. For those who believe in God, there are reasons now to be more in awe, not less."
~Francis S. Collins
~Francis S. Collins
Matthew 5: 1-13 - The Beatitudes (those who mourn)
In my continuing epic saga of trying to further understand the Bible, I am continuing my visitation to the Beatitudes. Last time, I spoke of my understanding of those who are poor in spirit, this time, we discuss verse 4 those who mourn.
"4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."
The first question that comes to my mind in this verse is...what is it to mourn? Is it simply an emotional state of sadness, or grief? Is it good to mourn? Are there any ways of mourning that are not good? What do I mourn over?
How about I start with the last one...what do I mourn over. So, like I was an emo kid growing up...no I didn't dress in Goth, or walk around talking about death, but I'm pretty sure when Christmas came around and I didn't get what I wanted, I was probably pretty peeved. When you don't get that awesome transformer that changed from a robot to a green army jeep, there's just nothing left to do but to feel a little sad in here (pointing to my heart)...don't worry, I've got him now though...but was that something God's going to be comforting me about? Frankly, probably not. I'm not sure God's really pushin' the materialism bit. So what else have I mourned over? Well, what have you mourned over? Not having enough money? Not living the life you "expected"? A parent dying? A pet passing away? I want to step outside of the typical here and instead of discussing what makes me mourn, in the worldly sense, and talk about mourning from the standpoint of sin and repentance. Every time I sin, I mourn. My heart mourns. My soul mourns. Because I know if furthers me from God. Now we know that God's love is infinite,(a concept I couldn't even grasp in my wildest thoughts) but the idea of knowingly (or even unknowingly) sinning against someone to who I am so grateful, makes me sad. This is why we do penance.
I know my best relationship is one that's open, communicative, and forgiving and it's with God. He knows me whether I want to tell him something or not, whether I'm close to him, or we're not talking, and whether I even realize it or not. He knows my soul, he knows my sins, and he gives me the choice to make amends with him and ask for forgiveness and thus, his comfort. It is an overwhelming joy to have the knowledge that you can be forgiven and cared for despite what you've done in life. And sometimes, that's hard to grasp...and I get that...I really do...I battle with it myself. How can someone possibly be all-forgiving? I can't fathom it...and I certainly can't always do it.
I know my friends wouldn't always be able to forgive me if I were to be sinful against them all the time, but God's different. You NEED to realize this...You need (and I say "You", but I'm talking to myself as well here, realize I'm not just pointing this out to others, but also reinforcing to myself) to understand that this is one of the cornerstones of knowing God and our faith as Christians.
We all don't live perfectly, but we all could be happy knowing that God will forgive us for anything because of the sacrifice Christ made for us. All we need to do is ask, truly ask. None of this, "well, I was gonna ask God for a bike, I was told he doesn't work this way, so I stole one and asked for forgiveness instead..." Yeah...that's not it. We need to realize our sins and we will feel the mourning because we've hurt someone we care deeply for...and if you don't feel that, you need to understand yourself more...maybe ask, why don't I feel bad when I sin against God? What am I missing? Does God not mean much to me? Why? Explore your soul...if you seek these answers you'll find them...and if you DO feel bad, understand that God forgives you, even if you don't forgive yourself (which you should...heh...someone I know has problems with that...::points to himself::)
...Oooo...I've been rambling...Uhm...I'll have to look this over when I get back home...anyway...here are my thoughts...more to come...Stay tuned...same bat time, same bat channel!
"4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."
The first question that comes to my mind in this verse is...what is it to mourn? Is it simply an emotional state of sadness, or grief? Is it good to mourn? Are there any ways of mourning that are not good? What do I mourn over?
How about I start with the last one...what do I mourn over. So, like I was an emo kid growing up...no I didn't dress in Goth, or walk around talking about death, but I'm pretty sure when Christmas came around and I didn't get what I wanted, I was probably pretty peeved. When you don't get that awesome transformer that changed from a robot to a green army jeep, there's just nothing left to do but to feel a little sad in here (pointing to my heart)...don't worry, I've got him now though...but was that something God's going to be comforting me about? Frankly, probably not. I'm not sure God's really pushin' the materialism bit. So what else have I mourned over? Well, what have you mourned over? Not having enough money? Not living the life you "expected"? A parent dying? A pet passing away? I want to step outside of the typical here and instead of discussing what makes me mourn, in the worldly sense, and talk about mourning from the standpoint of sin and repentance. Every time I sin, I mourn. My heart mourns. My soul mourns. Because I know if furthers me from God. Now we know that God's love is infinite,(a concept I couldn't even grasp in my wildest thoughts) but the idea of knowingly (or even unknowingly) sinning against someone to who I am so grateful, makes me sad. This is why we do penance.
I know my best relationship is one that's open, communicative, and forgiving and it's with God. He knows me whether I want to tell him something or not, whether I'm close to him, or we're not talking, and whether I even realize it or not. He knows my soul, he knows my sins, and he gives me the choice to make amends with him and ask for forgiveness and thus, his comfort. It is an overwhelming joy to have the knowledge that you can be forgiven and cared for despite what you've done in life. And sometimes, that's hard to grasp...and I get that...I really do...I battle with it myself. How can someone possibly be all-forgiving? I can't fathom it...and I certainly can't always do it.
I know my friends wouldn't always be able to forgive me if I were to be sinful against them all the time, but God's different. You NEED to realize this...You need (and I say "You", but I'm talking to myself as well here, realize I'm not just pointing this out to others, but also reinforcing to myself) to understand that this is one of the cornerstones of knowing God and our faith as Christians.
We all don't live perfectly, but we all could be happy knowing that God will forgive us for anything because of the sacrifice Christ made for us. All we need to do is ask, truly ask. None of this, "well, I was gonna ask God for a bike, I was told he doesn't work this way, so I stole one and asked for forgiveness instead..." Yeah...that's not it. We need to realize our sins and we will feel the mourning because we've hurt someone we care deeply for...and if you don't feel that, you need to understand yourself more...maybe ask, why don't I feel bad when I sin against God? What am I missing? Does God not mean much to me? Why? Explore your soul...if you seek these answers you'll find them...and if you DO feel bad, understand that God forgives you, even if you don't forgive yourself (which you should...heh...someone I know has problems with that...::points to himself::)
...Oooo...I've been rambling...Uhm...I'll have to look this over when I get back home...anyway...here are my thoughts...more to come...Stay tuned...same bat time, same bat channel!
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