A Prayer for my Beloved

Dear Lord,

I come to you, with empty hands, a sorrowful heart, and a great desire to have you comfort Sonia. I feel very distant from her...geographically, emotionally and in my ability to comfort her now, when she's feeling upset regarding Lockerbie. I am showing her love and comfort the best way I know how, but for some reason I don't think it's doing a good job. I believe that because of what I receiving back from her, which seems to be a lack of need of me. Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps I am of a help to her, either way I give this to you.

If there is a better way at which I could understand her and comfort her, please share it with her, or have her share it with me.

I pray Lord that you are able to heal her heart, after all this time.

My thought of the day

When I discovered the world could not keep my heart lit, I realized that God is the only one who could keep it burning.

Matthew 5:1-13 The Beatitudes (those whose hearts are pure)

It's been awhile in my continuing saga-blog of expressing my love to you, Lord. Yet, in an effort to teach and be taught, I'm going to be working with our next beatitude;

God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.

My initial reaction to this beatitude might have been this...

"Wait, so if my heart is pure I get to see God? Oh man...I think I might be out of luck on this one!"

In a sense...this statement's sub-text holds much profundity. Here's why...if we accept the principle that we, in no way, are able to uphold God's law flawlessly, thus being blatantly unworthy to "see" God when we die, but only through our true acceptance of Christ's sacrifice are we no longer subjected to the law alone, then this statement no longer holds truth.

Our are hearts pure? No. In no way, shape or form are any of our hearts are pure, and we MUST be willing to identify that and come to terms with that. Does this mean that we're "out of luck", so to speak? No, the identification of our sin is the first step in taking action for being able to see God in the end. The second is accepting in your heart that you accept that Christ has indeed died for your impurities and that through this acceptance, you are no longer subjected to the idea that only through obeying the law will you go to heaven. God has added a new element for His people. The idea of forgiveness.

Now does this mean you escape free? No way! Because when you have accepted Christ as your redeemer, much more comes along with this...a love of God, a desire to be more like Christ and with it an internal disgust with your sin and strive to no longer do it, but becoming aware that you will anyway and thus becoming aware of repentance.

God will purify your heart as you accept Christ and as you strive to follow His path and be more like Him. You will find yourself changing inside, in your heart, because God does not measure your money, your academic accomplishments, your "good deeds" alone because those are accolades placed on you by the world, but instead He measures your heart and it is through that heart that he will work towards changing you and it is through your work and acceptance that you will not only "see" God here on earth, but also when it is your time to enter the kingdom of Heaven.

Matthew 5:1-13 The Beatitudes (those who are merciful)

In the continuing saga of the Beatitudes, I present the next in our list of...the merciful (dum dum dum...my dramatic presentation tune!)

Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

So, here we are at mercy. Yeah, this is like that moment in Karate Kid, where before Ralph Macchio owns that dude he's fighting at the end of the movie, the kid begs for mercy or something, right? Or it's towards the end of Count of Monte Cristo where Guy Pearce goes to James Cavaziel..."what happened to your mercy?" and he replies, "I'm a count, not a saint!" Great line, wrong attitude? Well, perhaps...nonetheless...this is in fact about actually offering mercy.

So, what does this beatitude mean? Of all Beatitudes I've written of thus far, I found this one to be very self-explanatory, but I'll break it down anyway, because it should be as clear as possible.

First, let's give the great example of who is the epitome of merciful. Clearly, it's Christ. He prayed, even on the cross while being crucified, to give mercy to these people who have persecuted him. If we have anyone to look at to admire and love for this it is Him. Even through all the pain that was caused to Him, he still asked for mercy.

That is just SO amazing. To ask God to forgive those who have wronged you.

And here's the best reason to give mercy...ready? Because God grants it to you. He gives it to you when you're a jerk, yelling at Him because things are not going the way you expected, or when you don't believe in His existence. He offers it to you because God is loving and forgiving. But He gives it because He expects you to give it to your fellow man. As Matthew 6:14-15 states, If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. He also gives it when you repent for your sins.

This should just put you in awe. Why? Because we are in NO WAY that good. I find it hard to even comprehend that level of goodness, that level of forgiveness and mercy. It's hard to comprehend because I can't recall a time in life where I have ever been like that.

God's just simply amazing.

Me...

Lord, I am a sinner.
You are the redeemer.
I accept you into my life.

I ask you find the holes in my heart and plug them with your love and grace.

I pray that you take my pride and destroy it.

So many times I do not allow your forgiveness to come into me.

I block it.

I do so because I feel I am undeserving of your love, undeserving of your grace. My

Lord, bask me in your glory.

Hold me in your arms and hug me.

Vanquish my fears Lord...

Psalm 139

O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.

You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!

I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night-
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me.
O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can't even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.

Oh Lord, shouldn't I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn't I despise those who oppose you?
Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

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My dear sweet Lord. Guide me...know my heart...take ownership of my soul and guide me Lord. Lead me from sin my lord and forgive me for the times that I do...You know me...every ounce of me. Sometimes I want to hide from you...like Adam and Eve because of shame, but I am glad that is not possible. I'm glad you hold me accountable for my sins Lord and forgive me for all the wrongs I have done. Without you weighing my heart my Lord, I could very well completely drift off into the insanity of this world and pretend not to even know you. I am happy Lord that not only does your hand guide me, but I have friends who encourage the same. If it were not for your love of me and their love of you...I could easily get lost in this world. You are my rock, my wall, the giver of life and creator of love. If I were to sit here and think of all that I have, my instinct might be to want more, but my soul just wants you and to thank you for everything you HAVE given me. May I always hear you in my heart and trust you always...

Matthew 5:1-13 The Beatitudes (those who hunger)

It's been slightly over a week since I continued my saga of the Beatitudes verses withing Matthew, so tonight I continue with verse 6:

"6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled."

I am pointed to Psalm 11:7 - For the righteous Lord loves justice. The virtuous will see His face.

This particular beatitude really hits home for me...because I fail it so often. So to help dissect this, a few questions come to mind. What does it mean to be righteous? What does it mean to hunger and thirst for it? And finally, How does one be filled with it?

I've found it hard to come to a good description of what righteousness actually is, so I think, who is it that would epitomize it? And the clearest answer is Christ. We was righteousness. He pleased God in every way while here on Earth and would perpetually stand up for what was right, what was just, and what was virtuous. He was in complete conformity with God's Law. So, since no one is Christ and we are all capable of sin, constantly...what does it mean for US to be righteous. It means that we are in constant thought about God's Law, the Lord's Word. That we are working towards acting as close to Christ as possible. It means that we seek a constant audience with God and that he is there to guide us through himself and the Holy Spirit. I also read something that I believe is an excellent deed. That when a righteous person sins, he finds it so hard to bear the weight of, in his heart, that he'd rather stay far from the sin, then to offend and disgrace his Lord. In addition to, should he sin (which he will, because we're all sinners), he finds himself in dire need to repent for what he did.

What does it mean to be hungry and thirsty for righteousness? Well, ya know that three meal a day thing? Yeah, this isn't exactly that, although, it does follow the same idea in a sense. Every day of your existence you're gonna get hungry and you're going to get thirsty...and these things need to be satisfied. You'll look for food, or something to drink or both to fulfill this craving. Well, your soul has the same needs...they need to be satisfied by the Lord. Now your stomach can be mislead by the type of foods you eat...if you just filled yourself with sweets and junk, your body will show it. Like your soul. Should you choose to not search for righteousness and instead indulge in the pleasures of this world, your soul will become ill. So crave it...crave righteousness...search for the good food of the Lord. It's satisfying...yum!

Finally, if you search for righteousness with your heart and your soul, you will find that God will fulfill you and guide you through the hard times. The Lord wants to fulfill you, he wants to give you his blessing and if you seek Him, you WILL find Him, just like the story says...

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Lord my God, I do crave you and I realize too, that I don't always...I ask you with ALL MY HEART to bless me and guide me and not only make me aware of when I'm not doing your work, but give me the strength to overcome sin. You are so good and deserving of so much praise and thanks! Please guide me as I walk to follow your Law and be more like Christ.