In my continuing epic saga of trying to further understand the Bible, I am continuing my visitation to the Beatitudes. Last time, I spoke of my understanding of those who are poor in spirit, this time, we discuss verse 4 those who mourn.
"4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."
The first question that comes to my mind in this verse is...what is it to mourn? Is it simply an emotional state of sadness, or grief? Is it good to mourn? Are there any ways of mourning that are not good? What do I mourn over?
How about I start with the last one...what do I mourn over. So, like I was an emo kid growing up...no I didn't dress in Goth, or walk around talking about death, but I'm pretty sure when Christmas came around and I didn't get what I wanted, I was probably pretty peeved. When you don't get that awesome transformer that changed from a robot to a green army jeep, there's just nothing left to do but to feel a little sad in here (pointing to my heart)...don't worry, I've got him now though...but was that something God's going to be comforting me about? Frankly, probably not. I'm not sure God's really pushin' the materialism bit. So what else have I mourned over? Well, what have you mourned over? Not having enough money? Not living the life you "expected"? A parent dying? A pet passing away? I want to step outside of the typical here and instead of discussing what makes me mourn, in the worldly sense, and talk about mourning from the standpoint of sin and repentance. Every time I sin, I mourn. My heart mourns. My soul mourns. Because I know if furthers me from God. Now we know that God's love is infinite,(a concept I couldn't even grasp in my wildest thoughts) but the idea of knowingly (or even unknowingly) sinning against someone to who I am so grateful, makes me sad. This is why we do penance.
I know my best relationship is one that's open, communicative, and forgiving and it's with God. He knows me whether I want to tell him something or not, whether I'm close to him, or we're not talking, and whether I even realize it or not. He knows my soul, he knows my sins, and he gives me the choice to make amends with him and ask for forgiveness and thus, his comfort. It is an overwhelming joy to have the knowledge that you can be forgiven and cared for despite what you've done in life. And sometimes, that's hard to grasp...and I get that...I really do...I battle with it myself. How can someone possibly be all-forgiving? I can't fathom it...and I certainly can't always do it.
I know my friends wouldn't always be able to forgive me if I were to be sinful against them all the time, but God's different. You NEED to realize this...You need (and I say "You", but I'm talking to myself as well here, realize I'm not just pointing this out to others, but also reinforcing to myself) to understand that this is one of the cornerstones of knowing God and our faith as Christians.
We all don't live perfectly, but we all could be happy knowing that God will forgive us for anything because of the sacrifice Christ made for us. All we need to do is ask, truly ask. None of this, "well, I was gonna ask God for a bike, I was told he doesn't work this way, so I stole one and asked for forgiveness instead..." Yeah...that's not it. We need to realize our sins and we will feel the mourning because we've hurt someone we care deeply for...and if you don't feel that, you need to understand yourself more...maybe ask, why don't I feel bad when I sin against God? What am I missing? Does God not mean much to me? Why? Explore your soul...if you seek these answers you'll find them...and if you DO feel bad, understand that God forgives you, even if you don't forgive yourself (which you should...heh...someone I know has problems with that...::points to himself::)
...Oooo...I've been rambling...Uhm...I'll have to look this over when I get back home...anyway...here are my thoughts...more to come...Stay tuned...same bat time, same bat channel!
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